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She had lovingly bore him three sons and two daughters in their twenty-three years of marital bliss. Although their marriage had been one of political arrangement, they grew to love and respect each other soon after the grand wedding. Thinking back to that time, he now realized his only surviving son, Gregor, would need to begin preparations for marriage soon. He could not go on forever and Gregor would need the love and stability that marriage offered. It had not been fair that Gregor be the one to succeed his father. Being third in line to the throne, Gregor was reasonably assured of living a life of carelessness and luxury upon his birth, but that was not to be. The eldest, Ivan, died in a freak hunting accident at the age of thirteen, while the second son, Sergei, a stupid and insolent adolescent, died of alcohol poisoning not too long after his mother departed the earth. Some would say he drank himself to death because of the loss of his mother, but ones who knew him best. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to.
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